how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
