Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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