One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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