there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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