True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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