What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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