CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
