jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize