i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
