I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
