One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
