Are we in a gay sports bar?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
