I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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