the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No subtext here. People are naked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize