I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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