I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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