i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
