Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
