Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
