i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I had to cum in my sink.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
