I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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