Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
