I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
