No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
