You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
