i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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