I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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