Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
