I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
