i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
