The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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