ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize