Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
