I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
