This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
