you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
