life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
