He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
