it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
