who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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