You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
where am i from again
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
