My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
