just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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