he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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