I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
