real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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