Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
