Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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