yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize