We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize