I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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