It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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