dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need water and some morals
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
