he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
