they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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