Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
