I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
