Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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