can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
